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House of Next Tuesday (transcript)
Episode: House of Next Tuesday episode begins at the house of Next Tuesday. Announcer (as Salesman): Welcome to the fabulous future world of the ultra modern House of Next Tuesday! In the world of Next Tuesday, giant ants will rule the earth! giant ant appears But fear not! The house of Next Tuesday is equipped with the latest extermination devices! glass zaps the Giant ant. You see, the Earth's atmosphere in the world of Next Tuesday will be polluted to the consistency of warm giblet gravy. is made of gravy. But fortunately, The house of Next Tuesday features air you can breathe! men take a deep breath In fact, it's climate controlled. press the C button, the house are made of snow and Summerman press the H button, the house are warm. Coatman throws the knife at Summerman and press the C button, the house are made of snow. In the world of Next Tuesday, door to door salesman will be replaced by viciously aggressive peddler bots. Salesman rings the doorbell like a fire engine. But in the House of Next Tuesday, you'll be safe and sound. pours the honey pot on Door Salesman and Giant Ant eat the honey and door salesman. Magnify Glass zaps Giant Ant once again. Wouldn't you like to live in the House of Next Tuesday? Of course, you would! Salesman: So why let me going on about it? Experience it for yourselves! the door This, gentlemen, is the state-of-the-art in luxury living, a monument to modern design. And the best thing about the House of Next Tuesday is... Ren slams the door Ren: We get a ten day free trial. nods "yes". Now uhhh, where did they keep the chow in this dump? Ahhh, I think the kitchen is right this way. Stimpy: Duhh, oh BOY! Ren: Hope they got something good in the fridge. and Stimpy walk I'm in the mood for some future meat products. Stimpy: REN, LOOK! and Stimpy was excited, runs and stops at Jerky 2000. Ren and Stimpy: JERKY! press the start button. Jerky 2000 Announcer: Welcome to the future of Jerky technology. The Jerky 2000. Please select the Jerky of your preference. Stimpy: Hmmm... Teriyaki... Pepperoni... I LOVE SWEET JERKY! Ren: Make mine sour! and Stimpy are pressing many times. Man, I can almost taste that barbecue shoe leather now. sign says "Insert Meat". HEY! goes in the Jerky 2000. Stimpy: Commencing jerky processing. Tenderizing meat. Ren: offscreen OOH! EE EE EE! OOH! AH!! AHHH!! buzzer Stimpy: Marinating meat. Ren: offscreen OH AH!! AHHH!!!! buzzer Stimpy: Tenderizing meat again! Ren: offscreen AAAHHH- gibberish, buzzer Stimpy: Lots more tenderizing. Ren: offscreen AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! AH AH!! AH! WAHH!! buzzer Stimpy: Shredding meat. Ren: offscreen AAAAAAHHH!! AH! AH! AH!! AAAAAAAHHH!!! AH! AHHHH!! buzzer Stimpy: Smoke and dry. smokes appears Duh, oh boy! I do love a good piece of jerky. bites Ren's arm, Ren turns into a jerky. Don't you, Ren? Food Preparation Announcer: deleted scene Welcome to the Food preparation. How may I serve you? Ren: I'm hungry for some REAL food. What kind of stuff does this machine spit out? Stimpy: It's seafood, Ren. Ren: SEAFOOD? Stimpy: Yes Ren, you see, In the world of Next Tuesday, all food will be farmed from the ocean floors. Ren: Sayyyy, that sound very good. What will we be eating tonight? presses the button Stimpy: PLANKTON! drool down, Plankton the whale was vomiting at Ren and Stimpy. It should go down pretty easy, Ren. It's already predigested! Bathroom Announcer: Welcome to the bathroom of the Next Tuesday. Ren: YEAHYEAH! GOTTA GO! sits down on the toilet, but jumps off shivering YIKES, man! That toilet seat is colder than a well digger's chicken! Stimpy: Don't worry, Ren. No more frosty toilet seats in the world of Next Tuesday. Observe. presses the Toilet seat warmer button, a Lummox is lowered down onto the toilet from the ceiling. Kowalski: Be ready in few minutes. looks at Stimpy. Bathroom Announcer: Thank you for using the bathroom of the House of Next Tuesday. coughs Oh man. Ren: sighs Bathroom's all yours, buddy. is wearing a TV helmet. Stimpy: chuckles Funn-y. Ren: What the heck is that? Stimpy: It's the new Sens-o-rama TV, Ren. was hanging out the ladies on Television The television of Next Tuesday puts you right in the picture. It's fun! Here! You try! Ren: put the TV on Ren's head What the? Hey, I can't see anything. Stimpy: I'll try to find you a good station, Ren. Ren: Wait! I- I see it! I SEE IT! Chef: Today, we're cooking something really good. Let's have a smell. Okay? Okay. sniffs Oh boy, That smells so good, I got a smell it again. Chef transforms into Ren Hoek. (as Ren) Hey, that does it smell it pretty good. slurps Ren: Tastes great too! Chef (as Ren): And now, we cook our main course, a nice big fat lobster. Ren: Oh boy! I love lobster! (as Ren) pokes Lobster Chef (as Ren): Look how fresh tender he is. That's good. transforms into Ren hoek. Lobster (as Ren): Fresh and uhh... HUH!? drops into the boiling water, Ren screams, Stimpy looks at the viewers Stimpy: Good heavens, Ren! What on earth are you watching? throws the TV at Stimpy. Ren is a lobster now. Ren chops off Stimpy's nose and it falls on the ground. Fades to black, Fades to Bedroom of Next Tuesday. Ren: Ohhh no! I'm not going in there. Some cockamamie, futuristic bed'll probably rip me to shreds. Stimpy: Aww come on, pal. You're just tense. You need the kind of relaxation only the bedroom of Next Tuesday can provide. Ren: Well... Maybe you're right. I could use some shut-eye. shocked HEY! There's no bed in this room! Stimpy: Yeah there is, Ren! There's an Insta-bed. I'll set it up for us. the button and a pill was appeared. Ren: That's it? Stimpy: Sure, look! It says "Just add 1 drop of water". Ren: Stew meat and puppets! It'll never work. Stimpy: It will once I get into my utility belt. squirts water on the pill and it grows into bed. Ren and Stimpy was screams happily. Ren and Stimpy was sleeping on the bed. Stimpy starts whizzing. Ren looks at Stimpy. The bed inflates as Ren screams. Cut to the outside House of Next Tuesday, and Ren and Stimpy are crushed into the ceiling/roof of the house. Ren: That does it! I'm getting out of here! Ren: Frickin-frackin.. house of STUPID tuesday. Salesman: Oh, by the by! Did I forget to mention of the house of Next Tuesday also features- slams the door Ren: CRIPES! I wish we'd never come to this place! Stimpy: I can arrange that, Ren. With that time machine over there! Ren: Huh? Time Machine? Stimpy: Sure, Ren. It's a convoluted plot device. Ren: Well I'll be darned! It is a time machine! Does that mean we can go anywhere in time? Stimpy: Sure, it can take us back before we got here. You know, our used-to-be. Ren: Or even further the back in time! To eras where we can exploit our knowledge of Next Tuesday, where we can live easy street for the rest of our lives. Stimpy: Hmmm, you know? That just might work! Ren: Yeah yeah, go do it, genius. was controlling the time machine. Stimpy: It's almost ready, Ren! the lever, Letter Slot Machine are stopped by "Past", The clock is spinning, Ren and Stimpy screams happily. Enter will open the certain. Ren: Good boy, Stimpy! Next stop, the past. and Stimpy goes to the past, Fades to White and Fades to Ren's eyes Ohhh, that was weird. I... I... to Ren as a Lobster and the boil, Ren (as Lobster) screams, drops the water, Ren screams and running around screaming, Stimpy shrugs, The iris stops at Stimpy, In a few seconds later, The iris was closing completely at the end of the episode. Category:Episode Transcripts